“Clark, just leave it.”
Clark straightened from bending to pick up his napkin for the second
time tonight.
“But—”
“They’ll bring you another one.” Lex smiled gently,
which helped a little.
“I’m sorry, Lex. I just… I’ll never get
used to places like this.”
This restaurant reminded him of the droning agony of Sunday services,
a sanctuary to something he’d never really identified with:
large, open room, all rich colors below soft lights and flickering
candles. Everyone’s voices low and murmuring, everyone dressed
in clothes that were too good to ever see the inside of a laundry
hamper. This kind of quiet was always intimidating.
Lex swirled the wine in his glass, sniffing at it, closing his
eyes and breathing it in before taking a sip. Held it in his mouth
for a moment, then nodded to their waiter, who bent to fill Lex’s
glass, then Clark’s.
Lex lifted his glass and tilted his head a little, a soft smile
on his lips. “To us, Clark. Three years.”
Clark played along and lifted his glass too, feeling a bit silly.
“Three years and counting.”
Lex gifted him with a quick wink, then drank deeply from his glass.
Clark sipped to seal the toast and set his wine down carefully.
Six forks gleamed in the candlelight. One lay slightly askew, catching
his eye. He pushed it back in line with his thumb.
“Clark, relax.”
“I’m fine, Lex.” Uncomfortable, but fine. Great.
Hungry. “By the way, did you order a burger and fries for
me?”
Clark knew he wouldn’t find a burger in a place like this,
but it was an old joke between them – he knew fast food, Lex
knew fine dining. Clark grinned to himself. He loved having a history
with Lex. Thousands of memories, hundreds of inside jokes he could
pull out of nowhere to make Lex smile.
“We did burgers for your last birthday, remember?”
“Of course I remember.” How could he forget? Leave
it to Lex Luthor to find the best burger joint in Metropolis and
rent it out for a dinner for two.
“I think I’ve demonstrated my willingness to eat cheeseburgers,
Clark, but our anniversary called for something a little more special,
don’t you think?”
“They’ve all been special, Lex, and not because of
the fancy dinners.”
Did Lex remember their first dinner here? Maybe that’s why
he’d chosen this restaurant tonight. They’d come here
on their first night in the city. Their first real date. It’d
started here, formal and proper, and ended with them sprawled on
the floor of the penthouse. Their clothes had been strung up like
banners all over the living room, the bluish glow of the muted TV
flickering on bare skin as they rocked together, finally separating
and panting, reclaiming their breath and thoughts, only to start
over again, and again until their exhaustion dragged them to the
bedroom. Curtains closed against the dawn, they’d dozed off,
curled together easily like old lovers who drifted together in their
sleep.
“Clark?” Lex’s voice snapped him back to the
present and he blinked slowly, mind lingering on the cherished memory.
Clark shifted in his chair and felt the small leather book jab him
in the chest. He should give it to Lex now, before their dinners
arrived.
Clark reached inside his jacket to retrieve the journal and he
glanced up at Lex. It wasn’t easy to part with, even if he
knew he could probably still read it anytime he wanted. Lex looked
intrigued as Clark reached low over the table, handing the body-warm
volume to him. “Happy Anniversary, Lex.”
Lex’s hand met his halfway, fingers softly closing around
the book. Eyes going from the gift to his face, Lex leaned forward
and spoke softly. “What—”
“Read the first page.” It was a silly superstition,
really – leaving the first page blank. His mom had passed
the tradition on to him with his first journal, years and years
ago. She’d explained that it was in recognition of the past
and it had seemed important to her at the time, so he’d had
left it blank in each of his journals. It seemed fitting to write
the inscription on the page he’d left in honor of what had
come before.
Clark held his breath as Lex flipped open the thin leather cover
and began to read. Clark had the words memorized and said them in
his mind as Lex’s eyes passed over each word. “To Lex.
Herein lies every date, every fight, every night we’ve ever
shared. I know I won’t ever forget, and now you won’t
either.”
It had taken four hours to write and four seconds for Lex to read.
He studied Lex’s face, knowing any reaction would be subtle.
Like the drop of Lex’s Adam’s apple, the tiny lift of
his eyebrows, the slightest hint of a smile that meant more than
the grin it grew into.
“Thank you, Clark. I know what this means to you.”
He heard what Lex was trying not to say, how much the gift
meant to Lex, not how much the journal meant to him. Lex was so
good at phrasing things just the right way to make him hear something
else entirely.
There had been a time when Lex hadn’t been allowed to know
Clark’s true thoughts because of his secret. Now Lex knew
everything; Clark held nothing back anymore. But the journal was
tangible evidence, proof that Lex could hold in his hand. A record
of thoughts and feelings that had been denied him.
Clark grinned and reached for Lex’s hand before remembering
where they were. He covered the mistake by lifting his glass and
taking another sip of wine. Lex smiled at the gesture, laying his
hand over the journal, tracing the leather binding with a finger,
then tucked it into the breast pocket of his jacket. Clark wondered
if the book was still warm from being next to his chest all night.
Could Lex feel that warmth through the satin lining of his jacket,
through his silk shirt?
In a flourish of waiters, their dinner arrived and it wasn’t
some incomprehensible conglomeration of foreign foods. It was Chicken
Cordon Bleu, Clark’s favorite French dish. It was never as
good as his mom’s version, but he mentally thanked Lex for
remembering and ducked his head as the waiter handed him another
linen napkin. So embarrassing.
As he opened the fresh napkin and spread it on his lap, the corner
of the dropped napkin caught his eye. Cheeks heating, he toed it
further under the table, scooting it out of sight. Something stopped
his attempt, and Lex stiffened and straightened, eyes locking on
his from across the table. What he thought was the table leg suddenly
shifted slightly. Clark smiled wide at his chicken, then went to
work cutting small pieces, slowly lifting Lex’s cuff with
the tip of his shoe. Lex’s fork clacked gently down on his
plate and he leaned forward, nudging his wine aside to look Clark
in the eye. “Clark?” Lex’s voice was low and soft.
“Yeah, Lex?” Sliding his foot a little higher, Clark
wished he had the guts to kick off his shoe and feel the smooth
skin under his nylon-socked foot.
Lex’s eyes slid quickly around the room, then locked back
onto Clark’s, his mouth curling with a chiding smile. The
leg under Clark’s foot moved away, and his foot dropped, hitting
hard on the plush carpet.
“As much as I enjoyed that, you know this isn’t the
place for it.” Lex tilted his head to indicate the room’s
occupants—Metropolis’ beautiful people, leaders of industry
and old money. After three years Clark didn’t need to be told
what that meant – there’d be reporters here, too, from
the Daily Planet as well as the less scrupulous tabloids. “I
for one would prefer not to make the morning’s society pages.”
Clark looked down at his plate and frowned, appetite abandoning
him, nostalgic again for an anonymous little burger dive. For the
freedom to be themselves, together.
“Don’t pout, Clark. We’ll be home soon enough.”
Clark heard the satisfaction in Lex’s tone, and knew tonight
was going to be one of those nights. Lex would get his
way while Clark pretended to be content with following his lead.
But he’d just given Lex three years of his life (sans bow
because Lex hated to open presents) and Clark felt a surge of confidence.
He eyed their waiter and grinned. “Hey Lex, how do you say
‘doggie bag’ in French?”
Lex laughed into his fist, carefully not choking on a
bite of his entree, and shook his head as he swallowed. “Patience
is a virtue, Clark. I’m sure your father must have mentioned
it at some point during your upbringing. Besides, I haven’t
given you your present yet.”
Clark pulled himself back up to the table and started to cut another
piece of his chicken. Before lifting it to his mouth, he glanced
at Lex and smiled. The challenge had been issued and he could answer
it. He could be patient. Sort of.
“So what did you get me?” Playful, stupid Smallville
laugh that he hadn’t been able to leave behind and Lex just
smiled, dropped his hand below the table and arched up a little
to slip it into the pocket of his slacks.
Stretching his neck to see over the table, Clark dropped his fork
too loudly on his plate and swallowed the bite of chicken in his
mouth. Lex’s long fingers pushed the tiny blue box discretely
across the linen tablecloth and Clark.
Stopped breathing.
Would maybe never breathe again.
Lex smiled, obviously enjoying his reaction, then nodded towards
the box with an encouraging whisper. “Open it.”
Clark wiped his hands absently on his lap, vaguely hoping he hit
the napkin there but only half-caring. Slowly, he reached for the
small, velvet-covered box. His fingers trembled as he flipped it
open and stared, unbelieving, at the silver – no platinum
– ring. A single rectangular stone was embedded in the smooth
band.
This couldn’t be happening.
It was though; it was really happening, and the proof sparkled
up into his eyes. Clark’s mind raced with hope, fear and relief
as he stared at the ring.
The ring.
The one he’d never take off, the one he’d wear even
in the shower, every shower, for the rest of his life.
He couldn’t make his mouth work and looked to Lex for help.
Lex sat casually back in his chair, face full of unguarded pleasure,
but he wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t asking
anything. Just sitting there, calmly smiling across from him as
Clark’s heart stopped and he waited, prayed through slightly
parted lips to hear the question.
“Do you like it, Clark?”
Not that question.
Okay, so maybe Lex was nervous, stalling. Clark tore his eyes from
Lex, from the ring, and glanced around. Only a handful of patrons
were watching them now, a handful too many. This wasn’t right.
Lex wouldn’t do this here. A hesitant glance back at the ring,
the ring that he knew now was just a ring.
A ring with a red stone, not a diamond.
Clark swallowed the lump in his throat and forced his mouth into
a smile. Chided himself for being so naive. “It’s…
it’s amazing, Lex.”
“It’s meteorite, Clark.” Lex’s voice dropped
low and a smirk lifted his face. “Will you wear it for me
tonight?”
Okay, so it wasn’t just a ring.
Clark smoothed his thumb over the blood-red stone, a rush of liberating
freedom, clear and cutting, surging through his body. A wide smile
stretched his face, then as fast as it had come, the electric feeling
was gone.
It could be his again in an instant. The confidence, the attitude,
the power to command respect. He could possess them all
right now if he just…
Clark’s chest tightened and he stared at the man across the
table for a solid minute, carefully weighing the freedom against
the risks before snapping the box shut.
“No.” It felt good, felt like retaliation for being
the butt of a joke Lex hadn’t meant to tell. Guilt followed
hard on the heels of satisfaction though. Lex hadn’t led him
on; the assumption had been his own.
He supposed Lex deserved more than a curt ‘no’ for
all the effort this ring must’ve taken. Still, what could
Lex have been thinking? Clark couldn’t imagine that ring ever
hugging his finger now. “I’m sorry, Lex. You know I
can’t.”
“Can’t? Or won’t? I want you that way, Clark.
Don’t you want to feel like that again?”
“You want me hurting people? You want me out of control?”
Clark hadn’t told Lex everything about that day. Hadn’t
told him about hitting his father or showing off in the bar, beating
those guys up, but Lex had seen enough to know that he hadn’t
been himself at all.
“It doesn’t have to be like that, Clark.” Lex
reached for the wine bottle and started to pour Clark another glass,
dismissing the approaching waiter with a wave of his hand. After
refilling his own glass as well, he pointed the bottle at Clark.
“I want to see Clark Kent completely uninhibited.”
Clark didn’t want any more wine, and he didn’t want
to give in. “Lex, I – I don’t think it’s
a good idea. I mean, we don’t know what could happen.”
Lex
held him with a steady gaze while his tongue flicked out, licking
lips that curled into a sexy smile Clark felt in his knees. “I’m
game.”
Before
Clark could respond, Lex nodded at their waiter, who smiled back
at them and sped from the main room. He watched the tuxedoed man
disappear, very aware that Lex was tucking the ring back into his
pocket. The waiter came into his view, reappearing with a generous
dish of tira misu, another of his favorites.
He
looked up from the dessert to see Lex watching him expectantly,
waiting for a concession about the ring. Clark thought about rambling
off the list of reasons he wasn’t going to wear it.
It
was too dangerous, too uncertain, too unpredictable. There was no
way to stop the effects unless he removed the ring himself. Unless…
but somehow, Clark didn’t think Lex kept a sledgehammer in
the penthouse. Lex seemed so pleased with the gift, the idea. Clark
didn’t want to ruin their dinner or their anniversary, but
he couldn’t say yes either. “I’ll think about
it.”
But
it wasn’t even an option, not really. Even with some maturity
and life experience under his belt, there was no way to predict
what wearing that ring might do to him now.
Halfway
through the dessert, Clark dropped the spoon and sat back, unable
to finish. Food was a rude, thick reminder of the only real necessity
in his life. Lex’s gray eyes glinted with a quiet devotion
that seemed enough to make Clark forget about the ring he didn’t
get tonight, the ring so much of him had craved, needed.
The
ring that would be more than a toy.
Lex
smiled gently and leaned forward, a full body gesture, and Clark
knew anyone watching had no doubts about the nature of their relationship.
“Let’s
go home, Clark.” That fast, Lex stood, inclined his head at
the waiter and pulled out his wallet.
The
cheque paid, their coats were brought to them and Clark watched
as Lex slid into his, donning it like a second skin.
Long
black overcoat hanging open like he was too sexy to ever get cold,
Lex blazed a trail through the restaurant. The door was opened for
them and Lex didn’t pause to thank anyone, but Clark nodded
his appreciation to the doorman on the way out.
Outside,
the air was cool and clean, the sleek black limo gleaming with raindrops.
Streetlights threw a muted sheen on oily pavement, and big, cold
drops continued to fall so steadily that Clark felt himself grinning
at the promise of snowfall overnight.
It
wasn’t the childish prospect of escaping Met U for a snow
day, but a guilty secret desire that the morning would find the
roads too icy to drive, and he might have Lex all to himself for
the entire day. The last time that happened it hadn’t taken
long for Lex’s ever-present laptop and mobile phone to be
forgotten at the foot of the bed.
He
fell in beside Lex on the deep rear seat, the heavy door closing
with a discrete thunk. The warmth of the interior wrapped
around him, a visceral pleasure; he imagined it enveloping them
like the thick down comforter on Lex’s bed—a quiet shared
intimacy.
The
ride home was always a relief to Clark after their “romantic
dinners.” Like tonight, he was used to them being anything
but romantic. The attention Lex drew wherever he went made
their public outings together date-simulations at best, the lie
compounded, made all the more painful each time they marked their
anniversary. He understood all the reasons for the charade;
agreed with them most of the time, even. But still, it made him
ache even more for the freedom to be honest about his life. He knew
Lex understood his melancholy mood on such nights even if they rarely
talked about it.
Recessed
bulbs bathed the compartment in a dim, golden glow that Clark absently
reached to completely extinguish as the car pulled away from the
curb. His attention turned to the patterns streaking down the dark
glass, rivulets charting ever-changing landscapes. Fat, beaded drops
slid down, prisming the light from neon signs and traffic signals.
Sharp, glittering jewel tones that wouldn’t let him forget
the ring he hadn’t been able to accept at dinner. The ring
Lex had taken off the table and returned to his pocket – ostensibly
forgotten, but probably weighing as heavily on Lex’s mind
as it was on his own.
Heavy
like the weight of Lex’s patient regard, and when Clark finally
turned to face him, his heart tripped in acknowledgment of the stark
beauty before him.
Lex’s
face never ceased to fascinate him. He could sometimes just look
up and catch Lex in a random moment—sensual lips quirking
at some private thought while he read the paper over his morning
coffee, slate eyes lively with genuine laughter when he scored off
Clark during a rare Playstation marathon. Or like right now, when
the hunger he felt for Clark lay raw and vulnerable in his expression.
In those unexpected moments, Clark would be struck momentarily dumb
by his good fortune, by his love for Lex.
Light
and shadow from passing headlights and streaming rain were in constant
play across pale features. Shadowy streams moved on Lex’s
cheeks, nose, lips and chin, tempting Clark to reach out, to wipe
at the flowing lines. The images transferred to the back of his
hand as he rubbed along Lex’s jawline, curving his fingers
along the milky neck.
They
leaned forward in unison, lips brushing in the softest of kisses,
a brief, chaste caress before he gently pushed Lex back onto the
seat. He loved the feel of Lex’s body moving under his while
his lover took the kiss ever deeper, slick tongue stroking into
him, tasting him, taking pleasure in him. Lex’s hands went
to his face and pushed him up, separating them for a moment. He
rubbed his hips against Lex’s, grinding down into hard flesh
and muscle as he tried to keep his balance on the slick leather
of the seat.
Lex
gazed up into his eyes, the unspoken words there, strong and sure,
almost enough to make up for never hearing them aloud. He believed
the look in Lex’s eyes, in the firm hold on his body, but
sometimes he needed the kind of proof Lex always demanded from him.
Clark
slipped his hands into the heat under Lex’s jacket, massaging
lean ribs. A giddy rush of emotion caught his breath as hard muscles
shifted and rippled under the fine silk shirt, under skin he knew
to be just as soft and lustrous as the material covering it. Tongues
sliding fast and wet against each other, long legs tangled together,
pressed against the side of the car. He moved his thigh down into
Lex’s growing arousal just to feel Lex gasp into his mouth.
Teeth
bit hard into his lip and long fingers pushed against his
shoulders, pushed him back. Lex stared up at him with kiss-swollen
lips and heavy-lidded eyes and Clark was in his good fortune place
again, all heavy breathing and stupid grin and thrusting hips.
A hand
tangled in his hair, keeping inches of space between their lips
as Lex spoke. “You’re so quiet tonight. I want to hear
you, Clark. Tell me all the things you want me to do to you. All
the things you know I’m going to do to you when I
get you home.”
Clark
captured Lex’s lips in another frantic kiss, groaning his
frustration into the other man, but knew he didn’t stand a
chance. Lex was fascinated with his mouth—hard not to figure
that out the way he sometimes watched Clark speak; watched Clark
shape every word, and Lex especially liked the dirty ones. He might
even have gotten off on hearing what Clark really wanted
to do, but that didn’t mean he’d let him do it. And
Clark couldn’t ask again, couldn’t bear to be told no
again.
“I
want you to – oh fuck – yes.” The words stuck
in his throat, finally spilling out as a moan when strong hands
tightened on his ass, pulling him down to grind harder between Lex’s
legs. Such a mean thing for Lex to tease him with, and he groaned
his frustration, rubbing in slow, rhythmic motions, the leather
creaking beneath his knees.
Lex’s
slow, knowing smile made his cock jump, and there was a big hand
sliding over his stomach, inching between them, rubbing him through
his slacks. Lex’s hot mouth on his throat, sucking just
hard enough to pull the needy whimpers from him that made him want
to scream yes and more and harder and
fuck. Anything, everything Lex wanted to hear. Couldn’t
manage anything sexier than, “Yes, Lex. Yes.”
Teeth
grazed their way along the line of his jaw and Lex’s tongue
was deep in his ear, sending a shiver all the way down his body.
He threw his head back with a throaty moan, his hands moving down
to cover Lex’s hips, hold them still while he thrust hard,
forcing Lex’s legs up. Thighs gripping his waist and he pumped
harder, pushing Lex deeper into the seat beneath them.
Lex
breathed into his ear, “So sexy… Three years, Clark,
and I want you more every day.”
“Oh,
God.”
“Talk
to me, Clark. We’re almost to the penthouse. What are we going
to do tonight?”
Ragged
breathing echoed in the small space, their bodies frozen in the
erotic pose. He slid his cock between Lex’s legs, material
a hated thing now. He wouldn’t dare try anything like this
naked, Lex would never let him.
Clark
swallowed the lump in his throat and licked his lips. He loved Lex
like this, hanging breathless on his every word. “I’m
going to- I want you to fuck me, Lex. I want you to fuck me for
hours.” It was almost what he really wanted to say. Not really
a lie. All the right pronouns were present anyway. “Fuck me,
Lex. I want you inside me.”
The
limo glided to a halt and Lex pushed him up and off before Clark
could get his feet under him, hand clutching at his sleeve.
Lex
flung open the door, startling the approaching doorman, and climbed
out of the limo, pulling Clark behind him. Ten steps passed in six
and they were in out of the drizzling rain, jacket shoulders barely
spotted from the drops. The elevator was never empty, a fact that
Lex lamented often and from the look on his face, was silently cursing
as they rode the long haul to the penthouse. In the mirrored doors,
he saw Lex grin at the back of the elevator attendant’s head,
then felt Lex’s hand sweep over his ass.
Clark
shot him a scandalized look because he knew he was supposed to,
then smiled and looked back to the doors of the elevator.

Inside
the penthouse, Lex’s hands were on him before the door even
clicked shut, tugging at the buttons of his stiff dress shirt, sliding
Lex’s own silk tie from Clark’s collar, dropped forgotten
to the floor. Pulling and groping their way down the hall between
desperately breathless kisses against the walls, they stumbled into
the bedroom.
Clark
caressed the smooth naked skin of Lex’s throat, neck and scalp,
so soft under his fingers. The fine silk of his shirt didn’t
compare to Lex’s skin and he had to touch what was
exposed, had to satisfy that familiar, urgent need before he could
concentrate on exposing more. Lex’s hands connected low on
his stomach, brushing, almost tickling there, then moving on the
zipper of his pants, knuckles grazing his erection. Clark pressed
his lips into the fragrant hollow beneath Lex’s perfectly-shaped
ear.
Clark
toed off his shoes and stretched down to peel off his socks while
Lex claimed his mouth again, probing the dark recess behind his
upper lip before sucking first it and then the lower into his mouth
to be teased with teeth and tongue. Pants slipping off his hips
and pooling at his ankles, he kicked them aside. He started to protest
the loss of contact when Lex pushed him away with both hands on
his chest, but the sensual promise in blue-gray eyes silenced him.
He let himself be guided back, didn’t look over his shoulder
to see where he was going, just let Lex move him. He fell onto the
thick bedding when Lex gave another light push.
Lex
stepped back and Christ, he could have been a stripper,
because he knew exactly how to turn buttons into sexy, lewd objects
and zippers into phallic playthings. Shirt buttons flicked open
under nimble fingers before cuff links were slowly, methodically
removed, shirt cuffs hanging open around strong, elegantly-boned
wrists. Just more skin Clark’s hands were itching to touch.
Lex’s
smug look told Clark that he knew exactly the effect he was having,
and with Clark’s boxers tenting he guessed it wasn’t
that big a mystery, but the way Lex looked. Small, secret
smile and knowing eyes, and fuck, pink tongue lingering
in the groove of the forever-fascinating scar, wetting lips Clark
could still taste from the kisses they’d shared earlier, licking
right where Clark wanted to be.
“There’s
one more thing I want to give you, Clark.”
Anything.
Clark wanted it all, wanted everything Lex was
with an intensity that eclipsed everything else.
His
senses were firing, completely attuned to every rasp of fabric,
every shift of muscle, to the ebb and flow of blood through Lex’s
rapidly-beating heart. Pale purple silk skittered along perfect,
smooth skin as it slid down Lex’s arms and that was
his new favorite sound, although it would probably lose rank when
Lex spoke again.
Black
pants that would shred under his eager hands right now whispered
along Lex’s legs instead, falling in a rush to the floor,
and the sight of Lex totally naked was something he would never,
ever get enough of. There was something so sexy about the way clothes
just melted off of him, the way Lex left them lying on the floor
instead of bending to pick them up. Like habits and things
were so easily forgotten when Lex was undressing, thinking about
him.
Blinking
was a foreign concept now, something he used to do, because
he couldn’t miss a second of Lex crawling over his body. Lex’s
fingers hooked inside the waistband of his boxers and slid them
down, then he moved up, licking and sucking his way from hipbones
to collar bone. Even achingly hard, Clark wanted it like this, slow
and sensual and exactly how Lex always was.
Lex
climbed up his body, chest moving above Clark’s face as he
stretched up for something above their heads. Lex’s nipple
brushed his cheek and Clark couldn’t help but arch up into
the strength, the heat that hovered over him, his body begging for
contact, his lips burning to pull that tempting flesh into his mouth
for one brief taste.
A soft,
soothing voice vibrated into his neck, sending ripples of pleasure
down into his chest as Lex tucked a pillow under his head. “Relax,
Clark.”
Somewhere
along Lex’s slick, wet journey from ear to cock, Clark closed
his eyes. Nipples sucked, rolled between teeth and that made the
trip as much fun as the destination. Warmth, damp and familiar,
wrapped slowly around his cock. Clark sank into the bed, losing
himself in the tight pull, in the lips that circled him, sliding
up and down over desperately sensitive skin.
So
easy to just open his eyes and watch Lex, but one moment of gray
eyes seducing his own and there would be nothing left of his agonizingly
slow, deliriously good self-torture. He’d come hot and hard
down Lex’s throat and it would be over way too soon.
So
he squeezed his eyes tighter, willing his brain to steer clear of
any accidental x-ray moments, focusing on the push of Lex’s
fingers into his thighs. He gave into the pressure there and spread
them further apart, feet sliding against the cool sheets. Insistent
hands urging his thighs higher and he knew Lex was looking, knew
he was seeing every part of him and hesitated. Lex moaned around
his cock and Clark let go, let the shyness melt out of him and puddle
on the floor. He reached down and wrapped his hands around the front
of his own ankles, lifting his legs up against the sides of his
chest.
The
mouth on his cock disappeared, leaving it to slap gently against
his stomach. Lex licked his own fingers and Clark pumped into thin
air at the wet sound. Fingers slid against his ass, behind his balls,
trailing wetness wherever they touched, pressed. Arched up and remembered
to squeeze his eyelids tight again. Couldn’t look, couldn’t
watch this if he wanted to come with Lex in him, and he did. Christ,
he did.
Teeth
scraped along the juncture of leg and torso and Clark bucked up
into them, every muscle tense with anticipation. Lex’s tongue,
flat and wide, licking once over his cock, pressure hard and wonderful.
Down the length and Lex could just do that a few more times
and this would be over. Lips kneading his balls, mouthing them wet
and slippery, then the warmth, the wetness moving lower, moving
too low, sending a shock through his body and he almost,
almost didn’t jerk away from it. But then he opened his eyes,
saw Lex’s eyes closed, his tongue darting out to taste him
and he felt his body heat with stinging embarrassment, dropped his
legs to thwart Lex’s intentions.
Lex’s
hands tightened on his thighs, a clear attempt at restraint and
one he would normally defer to, even though they both knew Lex was
no match for him.
“Clark,
please. I want- I want to do this.” Lex’s head nuzzled
between his legs, hands pushing them insistently apart and the hot
tongue swiped across him again. He bolted up, pulling gently at
Lex’s shoulders, trying to get his arms around Lex and move
him before Lex could respond.
“Clark,
don’t. Let me give this to you.”
Clark’s
stomach dropped for the second time tonight. Another unwelcome anniversary
gift, but he didn’t want to be upset, didn’t want to
feel resentment tonight. Lex was generous to a fault with him, and
he would never harbor a selfish motive, not with him. Lex wanted
him to enjoy this, wanted him to feel good and wanted them to know
each other in every possible way. Clark knew it was true, even if
it didn’t feel that way.
Lex’s
hand released his thigh and brushed at his arm. Clark relented,
hands dropping heavily down on the bed. Lex’s mouth reconnected
at his hip, sliding lower with each dizzying second and he wanted
it, needed to give Lex what he wanted, but couldn’t bear to
think of Lex’s tongue on him there. Lex’s lips
didn’t stop moving though. Didn’t stop slipping lower
and down, sucking thin skin gently between them.
“Lex,
I- it’s…” Clark shook his head, couldn’t
call something that felt that good ‘disgusting.’
He
pulled at Lex’s arms again, not quite hard enough to actually
move him, but hard enough that Lex should definitely get the hint.
Lex’s tongue licked a slow, lazy circle and Clark gasped,
panting a protest. “No, stop.. it’s—”
The
warmth jolting his body stopped and he looked down to see Lex smiling
up at him. “It’s what, Clark? I just want to taste you.”
The words sounded so fucking sexy and Lex could seduce
anyone with words like “taste” and “want.”
Clark let his eyes fall closed and he stifled a moan when the tongue
returned to the inside of his thigh, slipping back to the one place
he’d never let Lex explore this way.
Heated, hard breath tickled the hair of his thighs. His legs shook
and he slid them down a little before Lex’s hands closed tighter
around them.
“Shh.
Just relax, Clark. Let me show you how good it can feel.”
One long swipe and he clutched the sheets in his fists for a torturously
electric moment, veins pulsing with pleasure and the thrill of something
that his mind couldn’t wrap completely around, couldn’t
allow him to enjoy, because it just wasn’t right.
He
sucked in a quick breath and he could smell himself, could practically
taste what Lex was tasting. The realization, the knowledge that
Lex was pushing his tongue inside him sent shivers over
his body. He slid back on the bed, pushing away from Lex, and sat
up, praying that Lex wouldn’t be angry this time. “Lex,
please. Just… don’t, okay?”
Lex
slowly moved to sit back on his heels, eyes closed, head thrown
back with a deep exasperated sigh, and not. Saying. Anything.
“Lex,
don’t be mad. You know I get embarrassed—”
Lex
opened his eyes, lowering them to meet his and there was frustration
there, but such obvious tenderness, too. He did want to
please Lex, desperately, but he was asking for things Clark couldn’t
give him. Why was he making Clark deny him?
“Yes,
I know you get embarrassed.” Lex reached out to soothe,
palming his hand down Clark’s thigh to finger the sensitive
flesh behind his knee while he continued. “Clark, I don’t
want to pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable
with, but this is why I thought the ring might be a good idea. I
just want you to relax. To lose some of your inhibitions. I just
want you to enjoy everything that we can do together.”
Lex
shifted to lean over the side of the bed and retrieve his suit jacket
from the floor. Clark watched as Lex reached in the pocket and pulled
out the small blue velvet box. Temptation in a perfect little package.
The
lid opened with a distinct snap and he knew it was only a trick
of the light, but the stone seemed to glow from within.
Clark
tore his eyes away to look back at Lex, whose shallow breath was
coming faster, eyes fixed intently now, willing him to rise to this
challenge, and Lex wanted this more than he had guessed. Lex wanted
this and Clark knew he’d do anything, he’d give anything
Lex asked of him, even this. Looking up into the gray eyes that
blinked slowly with a seductive patience, Clark wondered if there
had ever really been any doubt. He licked his suddenly dry lips
and hesitantly nodded his assent.
The
smile that lit Lex’s face steeled his conviction, and Clark
offered his hand for the transformation. He watched breathless as
Lex slipped the beautiful and terrible thing onto his finger and
let himself imagine for one moment how it would feel when he and
Lex shared an exchanging of rings that would represent their commitment,
rings that meant they were bound to each other forever. Someday
maybe the ring Lex slid onto his finger would be more than a game
or a gift.
It
would be everything.
He
savored the dream of forever for a too-short moment before the meteor’s
effects swept through him in an exhilarating rush of primal awareness.

Lex
smoothed the ring onto a long tanned finger and shook off the surge
of misgiving he felt, slowly raising his eyes to search Clark’s
face for signs of alteration.
Clark
stared back unflinchingly, changeable eyes warm amber tonight, and
Lex couldn’t help but think of a large cat, Clark’s
languid pose a mirage shimmering with the promise of explosive power.
Power that was always an element with Clark’s long muscular
limbs laid bare, but it was suddenly palpable in the air and Lex
felt his own cock swelling in response.
Lex
opened his mouth to ask him how he felt and Clark’s legs fell
open suggestively, brow raised in mocking invitation. Lex’s
cock jumped.
“Clark?”
“Do
it, Lex. Lick me.” Clark’s hand moved to tug on his
own hardening cock. “I want it. Now.”
Lex’s
brain fizzled under the heat radiating from Clark’s eyes and
his body, and now from his mouth, too. Beautiful lips spilling hard,
dirty words that Clark knew he craved, and he didn’t waste
any time complying with Clark’s demand.
He
stretched out on his stomach between wide-spread thighs as Clark’s
hands lifted them up, pulling them further apart, and Lex moaned,
buried his face deep in the heat between Clark’s legs. Breathed
Clark’s smell—sharp, unadulterated essence of pure,
sweet boy, and he flicked his tongue reverently over the dark center.
Clark
didn’t pull away, didn’t push him away. This time Clark
moaned and lifted his hips off the bed, not trying to escape but
begging for more, and Lex was eager to give it. He lapped at the
surface like a cat with cream until he felt the tight ring of resistance
begin to unfurl under his attention. His tongue pushed deep into
the clenching center. Acutely aware of Clark jacking hard on his
own cock, Lex stretched his tongue in as far as he could, nose and
mouth sealed closed against the cloying flesh.
“Oh,
fuck, yes. Deeper, Lex.”
He
watched Clark writhe, pinching and pulling at his nipples with his
free hand. Lex thrust his tongue hard into his lover, sliding it
slowly in and out, again and again, until he was forced to pull
back and gasp for breath.
“Fuck,
don’t stop. Harder, Lex. Make me come.”
Lex
took another deep breath and filled his mouth with Clark’s
balls, rolling and tonguing them, watching Clark pump his cock.
Watching Clark watching him with an avarice that fed his own. Felt
himself drooling, and pulled back to lick his saliva from between
Clark’s legs, lips and tongue sucking and slurping down again,
down for another taste of heaven, groaning his bliss into Clark.
“I
want to fuck you, Lex.” And Clark was arching up,
shaking the bed, coming hard, groaning the words. Words he had heard
from Clark before, but never like that.
He
pulled back and savored the sight as Clark’s body rippled
with the aftershocks of orgasm. Wiped his chin with the back of
his hand and drank in the sight of Clark, spread out before him,
open and confident. They’d had sex too many times for Clark
to qualify as newly-debauched, but that was exactly how he appeared,
angelic features flushed with sweat and sex, eyes heavy lidded in
satiated afterglow, lips ripe and swollen. Lex loved that he could
do this to Clark. His cock loved that he could this to
Clark, and now it was demanding equal attention.
“Turn
over for me, Clark.” His voice shook with tightly reined lust,
and damn, but that ring was proving worth every penny.
Clark
pushed up on his elbows, negligently wiping his stomach clean with
a corner of the soft comforter in favor of the tissues that were
kept so easily within reach. His foot rubbed long lines along Lex’s
thigh, chin tilting up and a wide smile spreading his lips. “Not
this time, Lex. You turn over for me.” Clark
challenged, licking red lips, eyes like hot hands moving greedily
over Lex’s body.
“What?”
He laughed softly, admiring Clark’s audacity. Sexy as hell
delivered out of that soft, fuckable mouth.
Clark
was still touching himself, the sated cock quickly returning to
a more demanding state under the rough strokes. He could stay right
there, just watching Clark’s body respond to his own touches,
for hours.
“Come
on, Lex, we’re just getting started,” he waggled his
ring finger, catching the room’s soft light in the glowing
stone. “I’m going to give you what you paid for.”
For
one heart-stopping moment, Lex’s chest tightened with the
certainty that this was a mistake. Clark sounded bitter, almost
angry, and Lex did not want to see Clark angry in bed,
especially not while wearing that particular ring. He inhaled deeply,
eyes trying to a read the face that was usually so open and…
There – there it was. Familiar hazel eyes filled with obvious
amusement as they roamed unabashedly over Lex’s body. Lust
edging Clark’s features, but something more too. Something
slightly wicked, but he didn’t think that was a bad
thing. So, okay, no need to rush things. If Clark still wanted to
play, they could play.
Lex
considered the body spread boneless before him; his own private
playground. Hell, Clark’s body was a fucking amusement park,
and right now he couldn’t decide which attraction was most
deserving of his attention.
He
leaned down to press another kiss on the soft inner face of Clark’s
thigh before swiping his tongue across the weeping cock head. His
neck strained with the effort to brace himself over slim hips when
Clark’s hand stopped working the shaft and reached out to
pull him all the way down on its length.
His
entire body tensed until he realized just how pointless any resistance
was. A low chuckle above his head told him that particular fact
had not gone unnoticed by Clark, either. The hand palming the back
of his head urged him down again and he opened his throat, letting
Clark slide deeper. One thrust became five in a brutal, dizzying
rhythm and just like that Clark was trying to fuck his way to another
orgasm. Lex wasn’t having it; as much as he was enjoying the
new aggressiveness, Clark still wasn’t running this show—super-powers
be damned. On the next outstroke, he pushed the warm hand away and
pulled off Clark with a wet pop.
He
smirked at the clearly frustrated boy and crawled his way up Clark’s
body, leaving a wet trail of rapidly-vanishing bite marks across
the tight abdomen and ribs, relishing every little twitch and quiver
under his mouth. Clark was making him work for each reaction, swallowing
all the sweet mewling sounds that normally accompanied their sex
play.
He
had just started teasing Clark’s taut nipples when he found
himself flat on his back. Lex’s brain caught up with his body
and he felt heavy limbs suddenly pinning him to the bed. Flashes
of hiding in closets, feeling small and weak and he could almost
remember being there, not that he wanted to. Not when Clark’s
sharp teeth bit hard into his shoulder.
The
pain shot through his neck and back, his body shuddering, a strangled
cry escaping his lips. “Jesus, Clark! Yes, do that again.”
And again, and again, because Clark wasn’t holding back now,
wasn’t being careful, and Lex had dreamed of this.
It didn’t even matter that Clark was looking at him like he
was the alien here. Fuck that because yeah, biting’s
a kink, but it wasn’t like Clark hadn’t known about
it since day one.
“Do
it, Clark.” He was not pleading, except this Clark
was starting to feel like a tease.
“You
want me to hurt you, Lex?”
“Yes.”
Emphatically. “Christ, it feels so good.”
Clark’s
teeth sank into his skin again at the same bruised juncture of neck
and shoulder, breaking the surface this time and ripping a hoarse
scream from him. A dizzying rush of air and the world went black,
his pained ecstatic cry muffled by a pillow. One large hand, strong
between his shoulder blades, pressing him down into the mattress.
His face flattened, Lex sucked breath desperately through thick
cotton. Before he could form thoughts or words, a second hand snaked
around his belly and yanked, lifting his ass high in the air.
Clark
leaned over him, cock grinding into the cleft of Lex’s ass,
and murmured, “Then you’re going to feel this everywhere,
Lex.”
Sharp
blade of panic cutting deep before he remembered that, ring or not,
this was still Clark. “Clark, stop. You know that’s
not what I meant.”
“Don’t
worry, I know just what you meant. You’ve been teaching me
for three years how to interpret your hidden meanings, haven’t
you, Lex?”
The
bitterness in Clark’s voice sent a chill down his spine. He’d
heard bitterness before, was a self-acknowledged expert on it, but
he’d never heard that brand of sarcasm from Clark’s
lips. He wasn’t sure how to react. Hell, he wasn’t even
entirely sure what the problem was, and he definitely wasn’t
in a position to soothe his frustration.
Clark
obviously had other ideas for working out his feelings, hips pumping
against his ass, rubbing the length of his cock roughly across the
sensitized flesh of his hole, Hurt feelings be damned, Clark knew
the rules. He found himself moving, clutching at the sheets, making
a real effort to get away—out from under arms and hands that
gripped like steel. He was not going to panic. Clark was
not going to fuck him. Clark knew him, knew fucking him
wasn’t an option. He relaxed back into the motions and Clark’s
hand stroked soothingly down his body. The thrusts slowed and he
lifted his head, drew in a deep breath.
It
was a short-lived reprieve, because Clark was suddenly teasing him
with a spit-slicked finger. He jerked in the unyielding embrace.
“Whoa, Lex, easy. You wanted me to enjoy myself, didn’t
you? Isn’t that what my anniversary present was all about?”
“Clark,
I said stop! This is not a game.”
Clark’s
low laugh raised goosebumps on Lex’s spine. “It’s
always a game, Lex, and you always win.” A blunt finger slipped
inside him; fucking him gently; making him shiver. “But not
this time.”
“Clark,
you know I don’t do that.” He spoke with every iota
of Luthor authority he could muster, satisfied by the even tone
of command.
“Where’s
your ring, Lex?”
His
mouth snapped shut on three completely inadequate responses before
conceding to himself that Clark’s point was valid. Not that
he’d concede it to Clark. He didn’t do that.
Period and end of discussion.
Clark’s
finger disappeared as he sat back on his heels and wrapped both
arms tightly around him.
Lex’s
mind calmed under the balm of silky curls and hot breath caressing
his back, sliding low and lower. Clark’s face buried in the
small of his back, licking cool stripes there, moaning frustration
against his spine. “I want inside you, Lex. Please, I want
all of you.”
Even
with the mouth sucking low on his back, he was pretty sure Clark
was talking about something other than fucking now. Or something
in addition to fucking. Either way, he wasn’t prepared. Like
a bad dream, he was on the spot and had nothing fucking prepared.
He was opening his mouth to say God knows what when he felt Clark’s
tongue move lower, move deliberately against him, and what came
out of his mouth was as incoherent to him as to Clark, he was sure.
Clark’s
tongue laved against him and relief crashed through his body. And
fuck yes, unspeakable pleasure too. Clark’s mouth
on his asshole, and he never would have imagined that even red meteorite
could overcome that particular inhibition, but so much
the better.
Lex’s
chest and shoulders sank, relaxing into the soft bedding, tension
draining away, and he was offering himself freely now because Clark
was playing nice, giving again. Giving him something he’d
been asking for for years.
Clark’s
face pressed hard against his ass, tongue circling and pushing its
way past the resistant ring of muscle, delving deep inside. The
vibrations of a moan Lex could feel in his spine made his body tense
with ripples of pleasure, his feet flexed with the urge to move,
push down onto Clark’s mouth. Too soon, the slick fullness
was gone and Clark’s breath ghosted up over his back. “Mmm,
Lex. You taste so good. Tell me again why we didn’t do this
sooner?”
“Fuck,
Clark.” Lex’s muffled groan was all the response he
could manage as he clenched his stomach, turning his head to the
side, sucking in a breath heavy with the scent of Clark and sex
and himself. It was a rhetorical question, anyway. Clark knew damned
well why they’d never done this before, and it wasn’t
Lex’s hang-up.
He
wanted to say that to Clark, but that mouth was back on
him, sucking and biting at his very core, and all he could do was
writhe down into the white-hot desire that multiplied with every
thrust of Clark’s tongue. So fucking good and damn, when Clark
decided to try something new, he gave it his all. Jesus Christ,
one touch and he knew he wouldn’t need anything else,
he was going to come from just this. Moved to wrap his
fist around his throbbing cock, but Clark caught both his hands
behind his back in a tight grasp. He yanked at the vice-like grip
on his wrists, hoping Clark would relent. “Clark, I need …”
Couldn’t
talk, couldn’t fucking speak when Clark thrust deeper
inside him and laughed, laughed against his skin, then
pulled back and nipped the flesh of his ass with a quick bite. Lex
bucked helplessly, thrusting into nothing but air, his brain and
cock pleading for contact with skin, sheets – fuck –
anything because he needed more. Or Christ, maybe
he didn’t, maybe he could come just from this, from Clark’s
tormenting him this way, if he didn’t go mad first.
“You
like that, Lex?” Clark’s open mouth soothed his stinging
flesh before biting hard again, and Lex’s eyes watered with
the delirious pain. “Biting or licking – which do like
more?” Clark’s tongue dipped in to tease Lex’s
spasming, and what the fuck was Clark asking? Which one? Why the
hell did he have to choose? “Clark, please...”
“Don’t
even think about fighting me, Lex. We both know you’ll lose.”
Clark’s free hand swept possessively over the planes of his
back and buttocks, twisting skin painfully between his strong fingers,
jolts of raw sensation that lashed at his painful erection. One
arm snaked around his neck, squeezing his throat hard, and Clark
pulled him upright, his sweat-slick back sliding against Clark’s
chest, his still-trapped hands bumping on Clark’s hard cock.
“Or
is that what you want?” Clark’s voice a low growl that
made him quiver in anticipation and trepidation, both. “It
is, isn’t it? You want to lose. You want me to rip the pleasure
from you. Force you to feel it. That’s what I think you need,
Lex.”
The
bones of his wrists ground together in Clark’s tight grip.
The arm around his neck slacked, smeared sweat across his chest,
then disappeared, only to close powerfully on the back of his neck,
shoving him forward on the bed. There was nowhere to go but the
wall and his cheek hit the paint there with a loud slap. His mind
was racing a thousand directions at once. There was no way to know
what Clark had in mind, but so far he couldn’t complain. Clark
was obviously having fun and hell, he’d play along just to
see where this was going.
Clark’s
breath hot and moist in his ear as he whispered “Did you like
that, Lex? Is this what you bargained for?”
Turning
his head, Lex laughed over his shoulder. “Fuck, yes, Clark.
You’re so fucking hot like this.” Hell if he was going
to let Clark think his little mind games had him fazed.
“Yeah?
Then you’re going to love this…”
Hard,
tight press of Clark’s body against his back, sharp carvings
of the wooden headboard digging into his chest, and fuck, he couldn’t
move. Not at all, not with Clark’s fingers denting
the flesh low on his neck, holding him easily in place. A brief,
childish “not fair” thought flew across his brain, leaving
the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin. “You know, Clark—”
Warm,
flesh pressed over his nose and mouth and he mumbled another word
before stopping, knowing the effort would be lost behind the wall
of Clark’s hand. Couldn’t speak now, couldn’t
resist whatever Clark was going to do. Clark’s mouth sucking
high on the back of his neck, marking him and fuck that was just…
fuck, Clark knew better, knew that wasn’t allowed.
Marked for everyone, everyone with sight, to see.
The
lips released his throat and licked across the bruised skin, across
to linger just under his ear. “You were right, Lex. I am
enjoying myself.”
He
knew this game intimately, had played it before, but not with Clark.
The removal of freedoms, one by one. First, freedom of movement.
That was always first, always the hardest for him to bear, the sweetest
to fight for, fight against. The most incredibly high feeling when
he finally let go of the fear, let go and just gave himself up to
whatever, whoever was taking it from him.
He
struggled, twisting a little against the painful hold on his neck,
and Clark’s deep voice rumbled against his ear again. “Give
up, Lex. We both know you can’t get away.”
His
mind raced with options as his muscles worked futilely against a
solid wall of flesh behind him, each plan had to be crossed off
as a failure. Sweat beaded on his face, slid down and traced the
edge of Clark’s fingers before falling to cool, wet on his
chest. Liquid proof of his effort and the physical manifestation
of fear was the sexiest fucking thing ever. He wanted to stretch
down and lick it off of himself, taste what Clark was doing to him,
doing to his mind.
Asthma
used to be his worst enemy, and now it was Clark’s hand closed
tightly over his face, denying him breath and words. Hot breath
tickled his ear and brushed along his cheek, taunting him, and Clark
had to know what he was doing, had to know the breath on Lex’s
face just made him crave air more. So this was the real
Clark Kent, or at least one version.
Lex
embraced the claustrophobia that burned in his chest. Claustrophobia?
No. His lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, not fear. His
head lightened gloriously and if Clark hadn’t done this before,
he couldn’t tell. Clark seemed eerily calm behind him, the
hand not holding him in place gently stroking his thigh in rhythmic
lines, squeezing, kneading the muscles there when they began to
shake. Clark wasn’t holding his wrists, didn’t need
to, and Lex reached up and clutched at the headboard to steady himself.
His muscles rebelled and he cursed himself as he relaxed back into
the solid form he knew wouldn’t let him fall. Not even if
he passed out and ruined the fun.
Desperation
forced his lungs to work and he sucked hard against the hand on
his face, nose closing tight and teeth clamping down on the flesh
of Clark’s palm when it didn’t give, didn’t move.
Body stinging from the deprivation, veins pulling, pulsing with
the denial that Clark seemed so eager to continue.
Couldn’t
help but jump at the broken silence, the smug voice he didn’t
know, didn’t recognize, not even that close to his ear. “I
never understood why you like having control so much, Lex. Until
now.”
Clark’s
hand yanked back on his face and familiar, delicious pink lips moved
to kiss him on his temple. He strained to see the mouth he longed
to kiss as Clark whispered. “I could kill you right now. Take
back the life I gave you. How’s that for control, Lex?”
Under
the wave of irrational fear, Lex tried to swallow, his brain lashing
out when he realized he couldn’t even swallow without breath.
He closed his eyes, willing calm, rational thoughts to return to
him. Clark would never hurt him, never let anything happen to him.
Not even with the ring. Clark could kill him, but he wouldn’t.
Why would he? The ring wasn’t supposed to change him, it was
just supposed to give him the confidence to be the person he couldn’t
let himself be otherwise. The person that took, the person
that could let himself explore kinks like this. Harmless kinks,
he reminded himself. Kinks like his own, taking pleasure in pain
and fear. He and Clark grew more alike with every breath he didn’t
take.
His
body shook with the need to breathe, and his neck went slack, head
laying heavily back on Clark’s shoulder. He was losing the
fight, losing the will to fight. Couldn’t grasp a thought
beyond the strangely-familiar feeling of drowning.
The
hand on his thigh drifted slowly around, first cupping his balls
gently, then wrapping tightly around his half-hard cock, stroking
steadily. Clark was rubbing his cock; was that supposed to be reassuring?
Maybe if he could breathe it would feel… fuck, it
felt good anyway. It felt incredible because he
couldn’t breathe, because he couldn’t move, couldn’t
get away.
Clark’s
hips moved away from his ass, then pumped hard into it, knocking
him against the wood, joints of the bed screaming in protest. Clark’s
arm pressed painfully against his hipbone, wedged between his stomach
and the headboard, but the hand on his cock never stopped pumping.
Blood coursed through his body, pooling heavily under the gracious
hand, under the only thing Clark was allowing him now.
A wet
swipe of Clark’s tongue over his ear, then hot breath too
loud there, sending chills down his spine. “Why won’t
you let me fuck you, Lex?”
His
eyes rolled heavily under their lids and he was falling, going under,
succomebing to the fate Clark would choose for him. Body leaving
his mind behind and some numbly-aroused part of him wanted to scream,
wanted to break away and retaliate, wanted to sink down onto the
bed, off his aching thighs, draw in breath after breath and pound
into Clark, come deep inside him, shaking with orgasm instead of
lack of oxygen. Would kill to be able to talk and threaten
and force something like this on Clark right now because hell, turnabout
was fair play.
A last
pitiful smirk under the thick hand and he felt himself sliding into
unconsciousness, the hands moving from his face and cock, Clark’s
arms curling under his own, lifting him, propping him back up against
the headboard. Raking air in without restraint, coming back to a
place he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to be again, wasn’t
sure he wanted to ever leave. Hoarse voice cutting the silence and
it couldn’t be his, couldn’t be him because he could
barely think between gulping breaths. “Jesus… Clark…”
“Why,
Lex?”
Why?
Why the fuck what? Jesus, Clark wanted to talk?
Fuck. Fine. He’d talk. “Why what?”
Clark’s
arms wrapped too tight around his chest, damn, his chest
and he couldn’t draw a full breath again now, maybe not ever
at this rate. Clark’s teeth bit gently, tugging at his earlobe.
“Why won’t you let me fuck you?”
Christ,
this was an old argument, one he didn’t have the patience
or the breath to waste on right now. His cock bobbed against the
headboard, sweeping a wet streak on the wood. They should be fucking,
not arguing. Not tonight. Not after that.
Carefully
filling his lungs, air like sweet wine and fresher than should be
possible with sex in the air, Lex pulled himself straight, summoning
the dignity he’d had torn from him in a wave of sexual sensory
overload. “You know, Clark.”
Clark’s
low chuckle made his skin crawl. “I know you said you didn’t
like being fucked, but you’ve never been fucked by me, Lex.
I think you’d like me fucking you.”
Lex’s
cock twitched against the headboard like it was listening to Clark
and liked what it was hearing and Christ, that was fucked
up on so many levels. He dropped his head to look at it, swollen
and pressed tight between his stomach and the wood in front of him,
and it looked back, mocking him.
Couldn’t
help but turn into the warm breath on his ear, biting his lower
lip to silence the words his cock was screaming. Closing his eyes
against the temptation that churned his stomach. “Drop it,
Clark. It’s not going to happen.”
The
arms circling his chest released him and he struggled to fill his
lungs silently, deeply, now that he could. Clark’s hands slid
up his back, grasping his shoulders and holding him still. A solid
thigh forced his knees apart, the bed rocking as Clark moved to
kneel between them.
Clark’s
chest pushed him forward, the heated flesh against his back a stark
contrast to the cool of the wood he was pinned against. Big hands
reached around and clasped the front of his legs, running up over
them roughly. Fingers splayed out, palms flat against him, like
Clark was planning on touching every inch of his skin as the roaming
hands slid up, pulling him back away from the headboard. He was
being explored, felt up, groped, and that was fine. Anything was
fine, as long as Clark’s hands kept moving, smoothing over
his belly, under his cock, up his sides, drawling huge, ticklish
ovals over his chest. After pawing everything he could reach, Clark
finally relented, his touch gentling. Lex leaned back heavily against
him, eyes closing and head tilting back to offer his neck up to
Clark’s stroking fingers.
He
gasped, didn’t have time to do anything but, as Clark’s
chest peeled off his back and the hands on his throat circled it
in a loose threat. “I could take it from you, you know.”
Lex
swallowed hard and hated himself for it, hated Clark’s hands
for being witness to that small concession. He opened his eyes,
sobering from the dizzy-drunkenness of unreleased sexual tension,
straightening up, bracing his hands tightly on the headboard. Ready
for battle. “Yes. You could. But I’d think twice about
that, Clark.”
A puff
of air hit his neck as Clark scoffed. “Think twice, Lex? I
think about it every day.”
Every
day? Fuck. And this was Clark uninhibited. Telling him he wanted
to fuck him, spouting truths that Lex wasn’t prepared to deal
with, at least not with a raging hard on, in bed, on their anniversary.
Couldn’t
just tell him to fuck off, couldn’t do that to Clark. To anyone
else, yes, but not to him, especially not when the ring he’d
bought was eliciting all this anger. “It’s not going
to happen, Clark.”
“You
can’t just give it to me, can you? And I know why.”
Sarcastic voice sharp behind him and he wanted to move, to look
into hazel eyes and see his Clark, not this one, looking back at
him.
No
challenges, no demands, no ring. Just Clark, simple and pure. Wouldn’t
give this Clark the satisfaction though, wouldn’t
let Clark see what this was doing to him. And fuck, holding one’s
breath is not the way to hide fear. He exhaled slowly, his lungs
still aching from the divine torture of the night.
Ventured
a move, tilting to one side, intending to pull a foot out from under
himself and push off the bed, but Clark’s hand warned him
with a hard squeeze on his shoulder and he felt capillaries break,
blood heating his skin under the fingers. “I’m not the
blind man in your life, Lex. I know what your problem is –
what he did to you.”
He?
Who? Stupid question. Lionel, of course. Clark thought this was
Lionel’s fault, and this night was going all kinds of unexpected
places. Too incensed to trust himself to speak, Lex looked up into
eyes that held a darkness his lover’s had never possessed.
“Fucked
you over one too many times, hasn’t he, Lex?” Clark
grabbed his hips and thrust against them and Lex jerked away, blood
boiling at the crude insinuation, fists clenching at his sides.
Any other man and his fist would be covered in blood by now, but
punching Clark would do no good anyway, even if he could bring himself
to do it.
“Screwed
you again and again, until everything in your life was about NOT
getting screwed. You could never just give someone that
kind of power, could you?”
Clark
didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about.
His
father had taught him the importance of control—over
oneself and others, but Lex hadn’t really understood the danger
inherent in yielding someone else control until-
Sharp
sudden panic pooled heavy in his gut as his mind cautiously touched
on the memory that had to be avoided at all costs. Sixteen and stupid,
he’d thought he was in love. A teacher, a confidant –
a pretty, wild young man with lying eyes that Lex hadn’t
seen until it was too late.
He
shook his head in mute denial, but the old humiliation was on him,
crashing through the fissure Clark had opened. He felt his face
heating with the shame of it, of letting himself be taken and used.
He’d
done everything, everything he’d been told to do. Sucked,
fucked, whipped, humiliated. Him. Lex Luthor, on his knees, on his
back, tied down, gagged. A foggy daze of pain and pleasure
and he’d let it happen – had let himself be used.
Had begged for more, desperately willing it to be something
he wanted because his lover wanted it. The sex, the humiliation,
all of it had been a whirlwind of concession, a production in which
he’d played the subservient role his father had taught him
to despise.
Lex
had given that man everything. His gifts, his emotions,
his body.
And
for all his gifts, he’d gotten the gift of humility in return.
He’d been made a fool of. Manipulated into buying ever more
expensive trinkets that were displayed like trophies in the city’s
nightclubs and private rooms. All the while his lover had been spilling
loathsome tales of Lex’s childhood, his kinks and, most demeaning
of all, his vulnerability. The stories of his childhood had been
heavily embellished for dramatic effect, to twist the knife that
much deeper, Lex supposed. The kinks and the vulnerability hadn’t
needed elaboration. The day he’d found out about the betrayal,
Lex had gotten his first glimpse of the real world, the world where
no one ever gets what they need.
He’d
learned a lesson then that he didn’t need to be taught twice.
He’d naively imagined letting himself be fucked was about
trust, and… maybe more, but it wasn’t.
Fucking
wasn’t about love. It was about power.
Now
Clark wanted the power. More power. Because, Christ, Lex
could admit it to himself—Clark already held more power over
him than anyone else ever had.
So,
yeah, he’d keep his comfort zone, his barriers, his fucking
walls that would stay up no matter who was knocking on the other
side. Battering ram or bloody knuckles, he wouldn’t let them
in.
His
sweaty palms slid on the headboard and he needed to move, needed
to get the fuck away from one more person who would never, ever
understand.
Clark’s
hands traced down from his throat, over his chest, the fingers of
one hand digging into his ribs while the others closed around his
half-hard cock and started pumping again. Arousal surged through
Lex and he fought back a moan, tensed his legs and tried to keep
his body from reacting to the pleasure that rippled through it.
“Clark, stop. I don’t—”
Clark’s
voice rumbled against his ear and Lex struggled to keep his eyes
open, to focus on staying alert. “Shh. Just let me do this,
Lex. Let me show you it doesn’t have to be that way. Let me
erase what he did to you.”
Three
years of Luthor corruption and Clark was still schoolboy naive.
Lex shook his head and scoffed over his shoulder. “You have
no fucking clue, Clark.”
The
hand on his cock twisted hard and he bucked into it. Blood rushed
from his head to his cock as Clark whispered into his ear. “I
have no clue? Whose fault is that? Tell me what happened,
Lex. Tell me something.”
Panting
breaths stung in Lex’s chest, lungs bruised deep inside, muscles
aching from the rollercoaster of arousal and pain, from the strain
of trying to control this.
Control
this. This situation he’d created.
Clark hadn’t wanted this, hadn’t wanted control.
Clark wanted him, not power over him. He opened his mouth
but couldn’t find the words, didn’t know where to start.
Clark’s
fingers curled tighter on his side and Lex felt the tension flow
from his body. They rocked together, moving in tandem with the hand
on his cock. Foggy awareness dulled the words Clark was whispering
low in his ear and he strained to pull himself from the haze. He
wanted to hear every word.
“Whoever
he was, whoever did this to you, I’m not him…”
Lex
sank back, thighs exhausted and shaking, his ass pressing down against
Clark’s lap. Clark’s arousal painted a cool streak across
the small of his back, sending a jolt of anticipation straight to
his cock.
A moan
vibrated against his scalp and he closed his eyes, let himself drift
between the pseudo-reality of Clark hard behind him and the rhythmic
heat pumping his cock, quickening his heart.
Clark
whispered low in his ear, the words echoing in his brain before
he could understand them, before he froze and his eyes shot open.
“I’m not him, Lex, but I can be. If that’s what
it takes.”
The
comforter rose up fast to meet his back and his body bounced twice
before Clark was on top of him, between his thighs and Lex would
never, ever get used to being moved. “Clark, take
it easy. I’m not going anywhere.”
“No,
you’re not. You’re staying right where I want you.”
Wet
heat finally, tightly closing around his cock and he couldn’t
do anything but buck up into the soft mouth, his cock pulsing with
every nudge against Clark’s throat. Breath hot against his
stomach and this, this is his reward for everything he’s
endured tonight. “God yes, Clark. Don’t stop.”
Floating
on a river of sensation, moving fast towards oblivion, finally close
to arriving at his destination, and then it was gone, Clark’s
mouth gone and he thought he might scream from the frustration,
the agony, the cruelty Clark was inflicting on him.
Clark’s
mouth not sucking him, not anywhere near him now and, hadn’t
Clark heard him? He was sure he’d said ‘Don’t
stop.’ Hands curling futilely over Clark’s shoulders,
hoping he wouldn’t raise up further but he did and fuck, this
was way beyond torture.
Clark’s
expression detached, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Anything
you say, Lex, but you know that already, don’t you?”
Lex
dropped his head back on the pillows and wondered again what he’d
gotten himself into. Deep, cleansing breathes, and what he really
needed was half a bottle of single malt, but this smug fucking cocktease
probably wouldn’t let him leave the bed. “Christ, Clark.
Let me come… please.”
Apparently
this night is all about Clark. Fuck. What was it with beautiful
young men wanting to hear Luthors beg?
Fine.
Bracing
his arms flat on the bed, Lex arched up, lifting his hips high off
the bed, thrusting, bumping his cock against Clark’s lips,
leaving a wet trail behind. Was that obvious enough? How about some
words? “Christ, Clark. Need you. Fuck, I’m so
close.”
Clark
smiled in response to his urgency and wrapped one large hand around
his throbbing cock, jacking him far too slowly to bring anything
resembling relief, reaching forward and pushing fingers into his
mouth. Lex sucked enthusiastically for one brief moment before he
spat the fingers out, threw his head back on the pillow and lifted
his hips in an obvious demand for satisfaction.
Clark
pushed a finger inside him on a moan and Lex bucked up into the
tight fist. “What would it take, Lex?”
Lex
pressed his head back into the pillow for leverage and fucked himself
on Clark’s finger, body arching, cock leaking in the beautifully
slick tunnel of Clark’s hand. “That’s… Yes,
fuck, Clark, that’s all it’ll take. Just don’t
stop. Christ… don’t stop.”
A second
thick, rough finger slipped inside him, and his body screamed for
the release that shouldn’t be this far away. The hand on his
cock squeezed him too tightly, not letting him come and
this wasn’t happening.
“You
can’t keep me at a distance anymore, Lex.”
Clark
was still talking? Fucking insane, both of them this hard,
this close and Clark expected him to think, to have a fucking conversation
right now? The fingers scissored inside him, stretching muscles
that clenched with the need for something, anything more. Lex’s
hips fell hard to the bed and he wadded the blanket beneath him
in his fists. “What… whatever this is… can we
just talk about it later? Please?!”
Clark
scoffed and that was not a good sign. Lex was sure the
hand on his cock tightened but Clark still wasn’t jacking
him, wasn’t giving him anything but—Christ—another
finger fucking him, burning in beside the first two.
“No,
Lex. We can’t. This is it.”
Lex
struggled to wrap his mind around Clark’s words – it?
What? Near impossible to think with fingers rubbing raw
along his prostate, flashes like roman candles burning behind his
eyes, body twisting with his unconscious plea. “What? Clark
– what the Hell?”
Lex
raised his head, stomach muscles tightening with the effort to see,
and watched as Clark’s head lowered, chin digging into his
stomach, breath caressing over his skin in a twisted, comforting
way as Clark spoke. “You heard me, Lex. This is it. I’m
leaving in the morning. I’m sick of waiting for you to give
me as much as I give you.” Lex opened his mouth, wiped at
his eyes in an effort to clear the scene, to make sense of the words.
Clark
was smiling up at him, a sharp, confident and patronizing tone in
his voice. “Poor little rich kid with the asshole father and
the dead mother. It’s bullshit, Lex. If you were capable of
loving me, it might be different.”
And
fuck, those words – those words were coming from
Clark. His Clark. From the mouth he’d kissed a hundred
thousand times, the mouth that opened, sliding over his cock, working
his shaft, sucking him in.
Scorching
wetness pulling him down, sparking fires through his hyper-sensitized
body. Clark’s fingers fucking him and all he had to do was
thrust down Clark’s throat and he’d be there,
but Lex felt sick.
This
wasn’t right, this wasn’t Clark; it couldn’t
be. Lex’s body still strained for completion, but somehow
his mind disconnected, the pain of physical denial a rapidly fading
memory.
Clark
knew how he felt, he had to because… because he just had
to. Clark should God damned well know how he felt by now, but he’d
say it, he’d hold Clark’s hand if he had to. ”Clark,
I do.”
The
warm sheath of Clark’s mouth slid up and off and Lex shouldn’t
care, didn’t care because Clark was laughing, biting
his stomach with sharp teeth and laughing like this was
a joke.
Clark
knelt up, fingers pushing in hard enough to hurt, far enough
to reach his spine maybe and Clark’s face changed. Anger like
it was wiped on the gorgeous features and that fast, the joke was
over. “You can’t even say it. Three years and you’ve
never fucking said it.”
“Clark,
you know—”
Hard
gleaming eyes and curling lips answered him, “I know you’ll
never let me inside.”
That’s
what this whole night had been about then. And Lex thought it’d
been about fucking, wished now that’s all it had been about.
Wished it desperately, because Clark already had everything he could
give.
The
truth knotted his tongue but he forced it out, praying it was what
Clark wanted to hear. “You’re more inside than anyone.”
The
fingers inside him thrust harder and a soft lick slid across the
head of his cock, catching his liquid frustration, lapping it up.
Clark’s cold gaze locked on his eyes and Lex willed the eyes
to thaw, the thrusting in his ass to gentle.
“You’re
pathetic, Lex.”
His
brain stuck on the words like a scratched record and all he could
think was the name, the name of the man he knew, the man he mourned
the loss of. This wasn’t his…
“Clark.”
The
long, golden body kneeling between his legs was Clark’s, but
everything else was foreign to him.
Faint
menace in a cool regard, fingers pulling out of him too fast. An
unmistakable command in the hand that pressed into his solar plexus,
holding him immobile while Clark reached into the nightstand, and
Lex’s tongue couldn’t wrap around a single one of the
million or so thoughts that flew through his brain. Limbs numb with
the shock of seeing…
This.
Clark slicking his own cock, grinning down at him with cold eyes.
Lex rolled his head in mute denial, closing his eyes against the
possibility. Clark wouldn’t do this.
“I
could break you, Lex.”
His
eyes flew open, cock jumping in response to the reality before him.
Clark’s huge, wet hand wrapping around his own cock, the other
moving between Lex’s own legs, fingers working, pushing back
inside the emptiness the errant hand left behind.
Lex
managed to lift a shaky hand to Clark’s chest. Clark stilled
and Lex took a deep breath. He was still in control and he could
handle this. “Wait. Listen to me, Clark. We need
to talk. I want you to take the ring off for a minute.”
Clark’s
eyes narrowed down at him and Lex’s hand slid down the sweaty
chest as it moved. The bed tilted and Clark was kneeling between
his thighs, stroking himself, fingers massaging deeper inside.
Christ.
Preparing him.
“I
could break you, Lex. It might take a while, but I could.”
The
room blurred and Lex fought for breath. Had to remain calm,
had to remember that Clark wasn’t thinking straight. He stopped
the dizzying shake of his head long enough to push up on his elbows.
Shifted his feet, in some semblance of an effort to slide off of
Clark’s fingers a little, but they crooked, hooking into him,
hitting the white-lightening spot, leveling him from toes to scalp.
His body screamed against the commands his mind was blurting out.
No way he could ignore the electric shock of pleasure, no matter
how hard he tried.
He
cried out, cock jetting slick arousal, not making his case.
Perspiration stung his eyes, and he panted with need. With fear,
and fuck. Clark was getting off on this.
Solid
muscle and flesh, unearthly strength holding still above him, waiting
for him to come back around, and Lex shook his head sharply, willing
his brain to clear of the hazy realization of what Clark was doing
to him. Not breaking him. Taking him.
Clark
shooting him a sly grin from under a sweat soaked tousle of hair.
“How ‘bout it, Lex? Are you game?”
Couldn’t,
wouldn’t fall into the eyes that taunted him, wouldn’t
surrender to the fingers pushing, pulling the pleasure from him,
the slide of tan skin low across his belly. “Stop, Clark.”
Sweat
splattered his chest and face as Clark shook his head fast. “No.
I think deep down you really want this, Lex, and I’m going
to give it to you.”
Lex
blinked hard, his chest tight with the effort to just. Remain. Calm.
“Clark, I said stop.”
“And
I said no. Call it a going away present.” Clark’s
fingers slid out of him slowly and his ass tightened around the
sudden nothingness that filled him. His mind fought against the
current of yearning, grasping for the ability to reason, the will
to challenge Clark as the legs between his pushed his thighs apart.
His feet were lifted off the bed as unforgiving hands hooked under
his knees, moving his weak legs up until they circled Clark’s
hips.
This
was not going to happen.
Clark’s
body moved down, covering his own and now all of it, the stomach
crushing his cock, the breath on his neck, the slick head of Clark’s
cock slipping between his legs, every fucking touch was
making him rage. Strength tore through his limbs and he pushed,
shoved against the body that was so close to taking
what he’d never even considered giving before. “Stop,
Clark. You are not leaving me. This isn’t you, it’s
the God damned ring. Get the fuck off of me and take. It. Off.”
“That’s
the thing, Lex, this is me. I just didn’t have the
guts to say these things before.” Lex took the full weight
of the sweat-slick body pressing him into the mattress. Clark easily
subdued him, stretching both his arms above his head, but Lex struggled
under the restraint, unwilling to yield.
“Shh,
Lex,” Clark murmured, lapping sweat from his temples, his
brow, his throat, easing his panic but not his anger. Clark’s
hips moved, cock nudging deep between his legs “Don’t
fight me.”
And
he couldn’t fight, could barely move or think or feel any
of this because his brain was shorting out. Arms pinned over his
head, hips trapped under the weight of Clark. There was nothing
left to do but wait for him to play this out. Clark’s lush
mouth moved on his, tongue teasing into his mouth when he tried
to turn away.
He
gulped in breath when Clark’s mouth released his, caught his
breath and managed a hoarse, choked-out laugh, “Jesus Clark,
are you really this unhappy with me?”
Clark’s
hand crushed his arms into the mattress above their heads as he
rose up to look down at him. “I won’t be happy until
you give me everything. I want all of you, Lex, not just the things
you choose to give me.”
Hipbones
dug into his thighs as Clark shifted down, and one hand stretched
around his forearms, pinning them there. The other hand moved down,
rubbing over their stomachs as Clark reached between their legs
to. Fuck.
Position
his cock.
Lex
frantically shifted his hips, and fuck, that just made it worse
because Clark’s cock slid along his ass, slick enthusiasm
swiping across his balls and Christ, it felt so good.
Cock
aching again despite his fear, his anger. Maybe because
of it. He wouldn’t give in to this. Couldn’t let Clark
take this from him. “Clark, you know I don’t
work that way. You’ve known that from the beginning.”
The
blunt head of Clark’s cock was right there.
“I’ve
earned this, Lex. I’ve earned all of you.”
Earned
it. Fucking earned it.
So
Clark thought he’d paid his dues, and now he wanted in?
Lex’s breath caught in his chest as Clark glared down at him,
but the fierce look in the foreign eyes of this altered, demanding
Clark…
Lied.
Lex
felt the lie in the telltale thumb stroking lightly on
his still-trapped wrist, in the hesitation of the cock against his
ass. This had nothing to do with the union of their bodies.
The
realization crashed like a wave of cold water on his body, like
raging flames consuming him from feet to scalp.
Earned
it.
And
Clark had. More than anyone ever. Clark had paid his dues every
day, with love and patience. Shared every burden Lex had endured
and had always been willing, ready to share more. Share everything.
Clark
had given himself to Lex long ago, made concession after concession.
Played the part of best friend everywhere but here in the penthouse
and never asked for anything in return. Except Lex.
He’d
been denying Clark the only thing he’d ever asked for. Himself.
Out
of fear.
Fear
of getting fucked, of letting anybody, even Clark get that close.
Jesus,
how could he have been so blind? He wanted to give Clark the world,
and all Clark wanted was to get inside him, was literally about
to force his way inside as a consolation for the intimacy he truly
craved.
Clark’s
hand tightened around his wrists, a cold flash of panic yanking
Lex from his thoughts and Clark was pressing into him. This was
something Lex needed to give, had to find a way to be able
to give it or… fuck.
No.
It couldn’t happen like this. “Clark, wait a minute.
Just…just give me a minute.”
His
mind racing, Lex squeezed his thighs together, trying to buy some
time and Clark wriggled down, forcing them open again, the head
of his cock pressing hard against Lex’s clenched ass.
Clark’s
voice vibrated deep in his chest, edged with the struggle to push
inside. “Haven’t you been listening? I’m through
waiting Lex.” The hand between their legs brushed under Lex’s
thigh then clasped hard, squeezing the tendons on the back of his
knee as his leg was lifted into the air.
Desperation
taking over and he didn’t care if he was begging anymore.
This had to stop before it was too late. Before any real damage
was done. “No, no… Clark I can do this… just…
I have to think.”
“Stop
thinking, Lex. I want you to feel this.”
“I
love you, Clark.”
The
words burned in Lex’s throat. Truth stung his eyes. Body,
mind and heart full, overflowing with the release of denied emotion.
Overcome with the need to give.
Everything.
“Take
off the ring.”
The
first electric twinge of pain took his breath away as Clark pushed
against him insistently.
“Please,
Clark. Don’t do this. I love you.”
The
heavy body stilled on top of him. Dark curls brushed Lex’s
skin as Clark lifted his head to search his eyes, his face etched
with uncertainty and disbelief.
Lex’s
wrists stung with the blood that rushed to his fingers as Clark
released his arms. Sweat and sex, relief and gratitude hung between
them for a long moment before the bed rocked and shook with the
motions of Clark tugging the ring from his finger and dropping it
over the side of the bed. It rang there, circling, the chime of
it spinning on the wooden floor echoing through the room.
Clark
settled back over him, propped up on elbows on either side of Lex’s
head, eyes closed and head shaking slightly, face pained and twisted.
Their chests heaved against each other, the almost-taken advantage
frozen in time, held in place between Lex’s legs. Clark’s
head fell to his shoulder, flushed face heating the skin there.
Shaking, sobbing, and the slight movements of Clark’s regret
seemed like earthquakes under his hands.
Clark’s
heated, moist breath burned against his neck. Soft hair ghosted
against the raw skin of his wrist as he reached up to stroke, hoping
to quiet the sobs. Wrapping his legs around Clark’s hips,
his arms around the rippling back, he held Clark there, as close
as he could, tight enough for maybe even Clark to feel secure. The
silence magnified everything, and his painfully exhausted brain
could only think of one thing.
Making
this better.
The
breeze of his whisper fluttered through Clark’s hair. “Shhh,
it’s okay, Clark. It’s okay.”
“Oh, God, Lex. I’m so sorry.” Clark’s head
shook against his shoulder and he raised up, started to pull away.
No.
No. Lex couldn’t lose this chance, couldn’t
let Clark go one more minute believing he wasn’t everything
to Lex.
Emotions
Lex had let go unacknowledged for so long flooded like relief through
his mind, but he couldn’t express them. Words were meaningless
now, anyway. Words were too-easy gifts they had the rest of their
lives to give each other. But this moment, this precious epiphany,
this experience. This was the one thing Lex could give to Clark
only once.
Lex
spread his hands on Clark’s hips and pulled him closer, urging
him to complete his quest, the meaning behind it beautifully altered.
“Please, Clark. I want you inside me.”
Pure
Clark, deceptively innocent and beautiful with teeth biting his
lower lip and eyebrows furrowing. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve
never been more sure of anything.”
Silence
hung between them, broken only by Clark’s low whisper against
his ear. “I love you, Lex. I love you so much.”
For
the first time, he had a complete understanding of what that meant,
what Clark had been trying to tell him all these years. His breath
hitched for a moment and the spell was broken.
Clark
slipped inside. Sweet, sharp burn, like an inoculation against soul
sickness and Clark’s heavy, slack body pressed him into the
mattress, holding motionless, their bodies adjusting, molding together.
Hair tickled Lex’s bare skin, thighs, stomach, ear, everywhere
it touched as Clark trembled against him.
Clark’s
lips parted against his shoulder and Lex felt the gasp instead of
hearing it. Rocked up again and tensed his aching hips, holding
the small arch as he breathed the words into Clark’s ear.
“I love you, Clark.”
Clark’s
cock responded to his words, jumping inside him, swelling, spreading,
stretching him, filling him fuller. The movement inside him exquisite,
a shock of pleasure against his spine. The duality of seduction,
body and mind, melded into one for the first time in Lex’s
life and he rolled his hips up, taking Clark deeper.
The
vibration of Clark’s moan sent chills over Lex’s body
and Clark began to rock gently against him, soft, warm skin smoothing
against Lex’s chest with every hesitant motion.
Slow,
steady slide of Clark’s body rubbing along his and it had
never been this way, never been a complete release of himself, a
complete taking of another soul into his own. His mind spiraled
down, thoughts pooling at the source of the pleasure.
Clark.
Inside
him.
Easy,
gentle rhythm building into a heartbeat as his hand tangled in the
mane of hair he wanted to inhale.
Gently
tugging the hair in his fist, Lex urged the hot mouth on his shoulder
to peel away. The hazel eyes he’d never really seen until
right now dripped tears onto his own cheeks and the lips
he’d tasted so many times, thousands of times, were so much
sweeter as they touched his own for the first time, the first time
Clark was inside.
Slow
salty kisses that became more urgent, tongues meeting and mingling,
thrusting slick against the other in counterpoint to the wet heat
below, the slow slide of their bodies. A faint whisper tickled against
his ear when the mouth slid from his lips, down his cheek. “I’m
so sorry.”
Clark’s
face belonged in his hands, and he fought the urge to pull
it down, reclaim Clark’s mouth. Few things seemed more important
than them kissing, connecting everywhere right now, but this was
one of them. His thumbs swept the regret from Clark’s cheeks,
eyes holding the emerald pearls in a steady gaze just in case Clark
was too overwhelmed to concentrate. “Don’t ever say
that to me again.”
“But—”
“No.
We needed this.” Lex marveled as his hands felt Clark’s
skin anew, thumbs rubbing down over Clark’s jaw-line and throat,
fingers curling over corded muscles at his shoulders, hands roaming
down to pull Clark deeper as he rocked up with his hips. “I
needed this.”
A deep
breath pressed his chest and belly tight against Clark’s and
he wanted to take the time, to notice every subtle nuance, every
shift of muscle under dewy skin as his fingertips slid down over
Clark’s back, up the backs of his arms. Learning Clark like
this, learning himself like this. Closed his eyes and started
over again, letting the memories of Clark’s body flow from
his mind, replacing them with newly-discovered sensations, movements.
Clark’s
hipbones brushed against his own as Lex raised his hips to meet
each gentle thrust.
Slow
motion.
The
silky skin and downy hair of their stomachs contrasted, rubbing
along his cock as they moved together and pulled apart again and
again. Every push inside was ecstasy, the bittersweet gift of Clark’s
virgin encounter with this new sensation; every pull out the promise
of another moment when they would find each other, become one over
and over.
Clark’s
teeth nibbled his shoulder and grazed across a circle of bruised
flesh, stopping to suck gently in apology when Lex moaned under
the contact. Lex’s cock strained between their bodies, begging
for the touch of something more substantial than the soft flesh
of their stomachs. Lex lifted his hips, legs locking around Clark’s
waist, back arching down into the mattress, Clark sliding deeper
still.
Clark
propped up, one hand close by his ribs, the other damp and gentle,
sliding between them, brushing along Lex’s side and chest
on its way down. Fingers sheathed his cock and pumped in tandem
with their thrusts, Clark’s thumb slipping across the tip
once, twice.
Their
labored breathing left no room for assurances of love, but Clark’s
eyes shone in a way Lex had never seen before. They mirrored his
own love, reflecting it between them in a thousand receding images.
White
pleasure coursed through his veins, tensing muscles, pulling movement
from them without consent or consultation and Lex gave himself up
to it, arching and stretching, shaking and shivering around the
gentle thrusts. Clark’s free hand slid up underneath him,
tightening on his shoulder and holding him close as he cried out
Clark’s name again and again.
Forced
grunts of effort above him and no, no, they’re not finished.
This wouldn’t end with him, not this time. His Clark
was back, forever changed perhaps, but timid even now. Even after
three years, although that didn’t really seem to apply now.
Maybe they would start their calendar over with tonight.
He
didn’t want Clark rushing through this. It was a night of
firsts; that was true for both of them. “Shhh. Relax, Clark.
Take it… take your time.”
Rocking
a steady, slow rhythm into him, Clark slid both arms around his
neck. Lex closed his eyes and breathed in the hair that fell across
his nose and lips as Clark cuddled close, so that Lex felt hard
nipples brushing his chest. Aftershocks of almost too-soon touches
jolted through him with every thrust of Clark’s hips. Liquid,
soft glide of Clark’s cock inside him, pace quickening with
Clark’s breath, muscles working under Lex’s hands.
He
clutched at the small of Clark’s back, then dared the pain
of deepest penetration and lifted his hips, cupped Clark’s
ass in his hands and squeezed hard, pulling him further inside than
he’d thought possible. Clark’s face was buried in his
shoulder, his breath held and head shaking back and forth like he
was denying this even now.
Lex’s
moan echoed through the room, loud even in his own ears. “Shh,
Clark. God, I love you. I love you.”
The
ragged sounds of release filled the room as Clark came in hard waves
against him. Lex held fast, kept him deep inside until Clark settled
heavily down, back flattening and chest heaving.
Lex
released his grip and smoothed his hands over the sweat-slick skin
of Clark’s back, lips kissing, nudging Clark’s face
until a warm mouth met his and a tongue slid inside. A small slip
between his legs startled him and his hands slid quickly back to
Clark’s hips, holding him in place. Necessary torture to break
the kiss because the other connection they shared meant everything
now. “No, don’t leave me.”
Never,
never leave me.
“Never,
Lex.”

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